The Wedding

It happened. It really happened. #ToriMarriedBear

I honestly can’t quite put into words how incredible being married feels. It’s only been two 1/2 weeks and I love it. 

Despite months and months of preparation, nothing prepares you for this feeling. A wholesome, secure feeling that radiates from within. It has somehow consumed the almost daily anxiety I had. Whether this feeling is shortlived I can’t say, but it is and has made me feel amazing. 

The day, as everyone told me, was a blur. Too fast. Too much to take in. Too incredible to completely comprehend. Feeling like you constantly need to press pause to just take everything in. Absorb the emotions. Photograph in your brain everyone’s reactions. Play over and over the ceremony. It’s all just over before you can catch your breath. 

Our dream was to be married outside in our favourite Cotswold hotel, The Hare & Hounds in Tetbury. The place we became a proper couple, decided to live together, to buy a house and then in fact get married. You could say that the hotel is as much part of our relationship as the Bear & I. There was no other alternative. 

Two months of daily if not hourly weather watching ensued. I have never been more interested or scared to watch the weather. We say English people can talk more on the weather than any other nation and I can quite believe it. Somehow. Despite all the threats of cold, rain, cloud, thunderstorms and generally typical English spring weather. We awoke to beaming sunshine. Our outside ceremony seemed totally possible. Nothing would stand in our way. With a ceremony booked for 3pm we just needed the sun to stay with us. With my girls around me, we popped a cork and set about getting ready. The hair & makeup artist, Holly Anderson, arrived promptly at 7.30am and with seven of us to make up set about making as all look and feel amazing. The best bit was being able to have my wedding day present from the Bear. Opening it on the bed to find the most exquisite Claudia Bradby pearl necklace. So chic, elegant and yet a hint of blush pink to add a modern twist on the so thoughtful wedding gift. I love them so much. Sadly the pearls didn’t match the rest of my outfit so I wore them up until I got into my dress but have worn them every day since.By 9.30am I couldn’t stay in the room. I skipped over to the wedding venue room and inspected the weather and grass. Everything was looking good. Better than good, my dream for the room had come together and  with my maid of honour and mum had a little cry of sheer happiness and a little bit of surreal knowledge that this was all for my wedding. My florist arrived shortly after 11am and whilst the tables and button holes were incredible the bouquets were not what I expected or briefed. I was so disappointed. I love flowers and had diligently made a whole PowerPoint presentation to the florist on what i wanted. I couldn’t fathom what had gone wrong. I felt slightly faint and a little ashamed that this could upset me so much. So I decided not to look at them. In retrospect, I can now see that they were pretty and worked with the theme but can’t quite get over that they weren’t my dream flowers. The ones I had lusted over for more than a year. But I guess that’s the thing about fairytale weddings. Sometimes despite our best efforts the reality isn’t always the same. I told myself I’d rather have the weather and everything else ok with the day. As long as I can zip up my dress it will be fine. At 11.30am it was my time to get in the hair & makeup chair. Despite having a trial it felt really exciting and all of a sudden very very real. With my hair done, my makeup perfected and my hair piece affixed it felt like a thousand butterflies had been released in my body. The only thing that stood between me and the alter was now my rather snug Pronovais dress. 5 months of dieting had resulted in 2 1/2 stones of weight loss and a hope and prayer that I would be able to zip up and breathe in my beautiful dress. With some slight miracle of last minute stress weight loss the dress zipped up a dream and I even had to have the shoulders sewn tighter. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I had hardly slept in days with worry it wouldn’t fit. Rather crazy but believe me in the run up to the wedding nothing in your head is very rational. Suddenly it was 3pm and I was about to get married. I bustled out the door and greeted my dad. I’ll never forget the look he gave me. That proud amazement was quite overwhelming. I still had to get through walking down the aisle and my vows. This stuff is not for the faint hearted. 

I had somehow picked 4 inch heels and an outside ceremony. Thank goodness for Clean Heels to stop me sinking into the grass. I had to literally kick forward to stop my dress trapping my legs. No one teaches you how to walk in your dress! One thing is for sure go to the toilet a billion times before you get zipped into it as you don’t want to try it when you are in it. But with my dad at my side telling me jokes the whole walk down towards the aisle to keep us calm, I have never appreciated him more. The ceremony was magical and rather blurry.  Trying to look at Bear, not cry and say my vows was a challenge. Thankfully the mother of one of my bridesmaids is a registrar and had agreed to marry us. Without her guidance and reassurance it would have been hard. All I seem to remember next is looking and seeing our wedding staring at the photographers. Desperately trying to see if everyone is enjoying the Pimms and Champagne on the lawn and secretly really wanting one. My cheeks ached from so much smiling, you honestly can not stop yourself beaming like a Cheshire Cat.  Like a blur suddenly it was time to enter our reception. Everyone was smiling and I was desperate to go and chat to everyone. I barely ate a thing. We were whisked off again to have some couple photos and when we returned the main was being served and I can’t quite believe that the day was half gone. We cut our cake and I could not wait to try it.  After 5 months of dieting the idea of an unadulterated feast on cake frosting was almost too much. Quite simply I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Be it the artistry of the baker, the magic of the day or my sudden desire for sugar I can’t tell you. All I know is there was absolutely nothing remaining after the wedding. Three tiers, Chocolate & Guiness Velvet, Chocolate & Salted Caramel with a top tier of Apple & Cinnamon. I know I stole away 2 pieces for the Bear & I to devour after we had hung up our dancing shoes. Feeling faguely guilty yet in the knowledge that it was our cake we’re allowed to take it. The evening called for outfit number two. There was no chance I would try to whirl my huge train around on the dance floor. Big huge Pronovais dresses are not built for power ballads. So I slipped into a vintage inspired Amanda Wakeley gown, gorgeously embellished and very twenties in style. We had a surprise in store, with a live band, Three Bags Full, as well as a DJ and they did not disappoint. Everyone was up, laughing, dancing and having such a great time. Our dream had come to life and even our photographer said she really wanted to stay and party as the atmosphere was so infectious. 

I’ve never felt so exhilarated. If this is love it truly is the definition of bliss and security. I never knew marriage would be so elating and grounding. Someone said to me ‘welcome to the best club in the world’ and he could not have been more right. 

It’s now 2 1/2 weeks since we said I Do and I’m still smiling. I can’t wait for our next adventure. What I do know is that marriage is great and I couldn’t have found a more perfect day if I’d tried to pull it kicking and screaming from Pinterest.

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